Sexuality: A Practice-Based and Community-Based Bibliography


Sexuality: A Practice-Based and Community-Based Bibliography
27th November 2002

This document presents an annotated bibliography of books which strive to maintain a positive tone while conveying information relevant to sexual enjoyment or participation in sex-positive culture. Selections range in scope from the general to the esoteric, from the \tame“ to the extreme, and from theory to technique. The two most inuential publishers in this _eld are currently Cleis Press (see and Greenery Press (see For real-time information, four popular hotlines are San Francisco Sex Information (877-472-7374), the National STD Hotline (800-227-8922), the Emergency Contraception Hotline (888-668-2528), and Planned Parenthood

[1] Abdul, Uncle. Juice: Electricity for Pleasure and Pain. Greenery Press, 1998. [On the use of electricity as part of S/M scenes (an \edge play“ technique).]

[2] Abernathy, Christina. Miss Abernathy’s Concise Slave Training Manual. Greenery Press, 1998. [On\Master/slave“ role-playing within an erotic context.]

[3] Addington, Deborah. Fantasy Made Flesh: The Essential Guide to Erotic Roleplay. Greenery Press,2002. [On the general topic of role-playing within an erotic context.]

[4] Addington, Deborah. A Hand in the Bush: The Fine Art of Vaginal Fisting. Greenery Press, 1998. [On the sexual practice of, over the course of an extended play session, inserting most or all of your handinto your partner’s vagina.]

[5] Allen, Ed and Dana Allen. Together Sex: The Playful Couple’s Key to Better Sex Parties. Grove Press, 2001. [On the topic of swinging, and hosting swing parties.]

[6] American Association for Nude Recreation. North American Guide to Nude Recreation. American Association for Nude Recreation, 1999. [A guide to nudist/naturist clubs and resorts, not including nude beaches, at least partially available online at

[7] Anand, Margo. The Art of Sexual Ecstasy: The Path of Sacred Sexuality for Western Lovers. J. P. Tarcher, 1991. [Speci_c suggestions on the enhancement of sexual enjoyment and intimacy through techniques derived from various spiritual paths. See also

[8] Anapol, Deborah. Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits. Intinet Resource Center, 1997. [On the subject of long-term non-monogamous relationships, see also http://www.lovemore.com  , , and the Usenet newsgroup alt.polyamory]

[9] Anders, Charles. The Lazy Crossdresser. Greenery Press, 2002. [A practical introduction to cross-dressing.]

[10] Austin, Miranda. Phone Sex. Greenery Press, 2002. [An introduction to the use of \hot talk“ for mutual enjoyment with one’s partner.]

[11] Baker, Jo-Anne (ed.) Sex Tips and Tales from Women Who Dare: Exploring the Exotic Erotic. Hunter House, 2001. [Interviews with women who have been inuential in sex-positive culture.]

[12] Baker, Jo-Anne (ed.) Sex Tips from Men Who Ride the Sexual Frontier. Vision Paperbacks, 2001. [Interviews with men who have been inuential in sex-positive culture.]

[13] Barash, David P. and Judith Eve Lipton. The Myth of Monogamy: Fidelity and In_delity in Animalsand People. Owl Books, 2002. [A careful yet fascinating examination of monogamy and non-monogamy throughout the animal kingdom.]

[14] Bean, Joseph. Flogging. Greenery Press, 2000. [On the subject of erotic ogging.
[15] Blank, Hanne. Big Big Love: A Sourcebook on Sex for People of Size and Those Who Love Them. Greenery Press, 2000. [Sexual information and support for people who have above-average body weight, and their partners.]

[16] Blue, Violet. Sweet Life: Erotic Fantasies for Couples. Cleis Press, 2001. [Inspirational _ction, see also Sensuous Magic by Patrick Cali_a].

[17] Blue, Violet. The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus. Cleis Press, 2002. [A guide to performing oral sex on female genitals.]

[18] Blue, Violet. The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio. Cleis Press, 2002. [A guide to performing oral sex on male genitals.]

[19] Bornstein, Kate. My Gender Workbook: How to Become a Real Man, a Real Woman, the Real You, or Something Else Entirely. Routledge, 1997. [A lighthearted guide to exploring one’s own sense of gender identity.]

[20] Brauer, Alan and Donna Brauer. ESO: How You and Your Lover Can Give Each Other Hours of Extended Sexual Orgasm. Warner Books, 2001. [One couple’s approach to enhancing the experience of male-female sexual intimacy, quite compatible with the ideas promoted by the Body Electric School. See also

[21] Brent, Bill. The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men. Cleis Press, 2002. [A guide to anal play and  pleasure, with a focus on men.]

[22] Brown, Mildred and Chloe Rounsley. True Selves: Understanding Transsexualism for Families, Friends, Coworkers and Helping Professionals. Jossey-Bass, 1996. [Helpful for the loved-ones and friends of someone who is selecting a non-traditional gender identity.]

[23] Cali_a, Pat. Public Sex: The Culture of Radical Sex (2nd ed.) Cleis Press, 2000. [Political essays on a variety of sexual topics.]

[24] Cali_a, Pat. Sex Changes: The Politics of Transgenderism. Cleis Press, 1997. [The author’s thoughts, by turns practical, political, and historical, on the subject of transgenderism.]

[25] Cali_a, Patrick-Rice. Sensuous Magic: A Guide to S/M for Adventurous Couples (2nd ed). Cleis Press, 2002. [A guide to BDSM play between consenting adults, interspersed with inspirational/instructive _ction.]

[26] Campbell, Drew. The Bride Wore Black Leather . . . And He Looked Fabulous! An Etiquette Guide for the Rest of Us. Greenery Press, 2000. [An advanced guide to etiquette in dealing with sexual minorities.]

[27] Chia, Mantak, Maneewan Chia, Douglas Abrams, and Rachel Carlton Abrams. The Multi-Orgasmic Couple: How Couples Can Dramatically Enhance Their Pleasure, Intimacy, and Health. Harper San Francisco, 2002. [A guide for men who are interesting in learning to experience multiple orgasms.]

[28] Conway, Andrew. The Bullwhip Book. Greenery Press, 2000. [A guide to the use of bullwhips in BDSMscenes.]

[29] Craze, Richard. Tantric Sexuality: A Beginner’s Guide. Trafalgar Square, 1999. [An introduction to the use of \Tantric“ spiritual concepts in the enhancement of sexuality.]

[30] Dangerous Bedfellows. Policing Public Sex: Queer Politics and the Future of AIDS Activism. South End Press, 1996. [The politics and history of gay men’s bathhouses.]

[31] Delacoste, Frederique and Priscilla Alexander (eds.) Sex Work: Writings by Women in the Sex Industry (2nd ed.) Cleis Press, 1998. [Essays and interviews with women who have worked in various parts of the sex industry. See also Coming Attractions: The Making of an X-Rated Video by Robert Stoller.]

[32] Dion, A. H. The Strap-On Book. Greenery Press, 1999. [A guide to the use of strap-on dildos in sex play.]

[33] Dodson, Betty. Sex for One: The Joy of Seloving. Crown Publishing, 1996. [A guide to masturbation and the enjoyment thereof.]

[34] Easton, Dossie and Janet W. Hardy. The New Bottoming Book. Greenery Press, 2001. [An insightful yet lighthearted guide to \bottoming“ in a BDSM scene.]

[35] Easton, Dossie and Janet W. Hardy. The New Topping Book. Greenery Press, 2002. [An insightful yet lighthearted guide to \topping“ in a BDSM scene.]

[36] Easton, Dossie, and Catherine A. Liszt. The Ethical Slut: A Guide to In_nite Sexual Possibilities. Greenery Press, 1998. [A wonderful book on the practicalities of sex-positive culture and multiple relationships | probably the most commonly-recommended book in this entire bibliography, at least amongst current participants in sex-positive culture.]

[37] Easton, Dossie and Catherine A. Liszt. When Someone You Love is Kinky. Greenery Press, 2000. [A guide to \coming out“ to friends and family as regards one’s kink and/or BDSM-related sexual preferences.]

[38] Frazier, Mark and Hardy Haberman (directors). Out of the Darkness: The Reality of S&M. Educational videotape. USA, 2001. [\Featuring Interviews with a variety of mental health experts (including Dr. Charles Moser), and intended to help educate health care and law enforcement professionals about S/M, this is a historical and contemporary account of what people in the BDSM/leather communities do, and how it di_ers from non-consensual abuse.“ See  for purchasing information. For a lengthier example of what a contemporary SM \scene“ might look like, see also the videotape The Pain Game by Cleo Dubois (USA, 2000), which may be obtained through, or possibly BDSM: Alternate Loving with Dr. Gloria Brame (Open Book Communications, 2001), which may be obtained through ]

[39] Gates, Katherine. Deviant Desires. Juno Books, 2000. [Essays and interviews with participants from a wide variety of specic fetish communities.]

[40] Gatta, Gina (ed.) Damron Men’s Travel Guide 2002. Damron Company, 2002. [A travel guide for gay or bisexual men.]

[41] Gatta, Gina (ed.) Damron Women’s Traveler 2002. Damron Company, 2002. [A travel guide for lesbian or bisexual women.]

[42] Gonick, Larry and Christine Devault. The Cartoon Guide to Sex. Harper Perennial, 1999. [A light-hearted guide to sexual physiology, development, evolution, and psychology, in cartoon form but very sophisticated and aimed at adults.]

[43] Gould, Terry. The Lifestyle: A Look at the Erotic Rites of Swingers. Firey Books, 2000. [The best book to date on the subject of the \swing“ community. For additional information see http://www.]

[44] Green, Lady. The Compleat Spanker. Greenery Press, 1998. [A guide to spanking as part of sex play.]

[45] Haberman, Hardy. The Family Jewels: A Guide to Male Genital Play and Torment. Greenery Press, 2001. [Practical information on administering intense sensation to male genitals as part of BDSM scenes.]

[46] Haines, Staci. The Survivor’s Guide to Sex: How to Have an Empowered Sex Life after Child Sexual Abuse. Cleis Press, 1999. [A guide to sex and recovery for people who experienced sexual abuse as children. Counselors and therapists may additionally wish to refer to some of the information presented at the AASECT conferences, see

[47] Herrman, Bert. Trust, the Hand Book: A Guide to the Sensual and Spiritual Art of Handballing. Alamo Square Press, 1991. [On the subject of anal _sting, including information on setting up one’s physical space for _sting parties.]

[48] Hooper, Anne. Ultimate Sex. DK Publishing, 2001. [A general guide to sex for couples, distinguished by its tasteful use of photography.]

[49] Inkeles, Gordon. The Art of Sensual Massage. Arcata Arts, 2000. [On the subject of incorporating erotic massage into sex play.]

[50] Joannides, Paul. The Guide to Getting it On! Goofy Foot Press, 2000. [A general guide to sexual enjoyment, distinguished by its comprehensiveness and by its lighthearted tone.]

[51] King, Bruce M. Human Sexuality Today (4th ed). Prentice Hall College Division, 2001. [A popular college textbook on the subject of sexuality, and a good way to learn the basics of sexual physiology.]

[52] Klein, Marty. Beyond Orgasm: Dare to Be Honest About the Sex You Really Want. Dimensions, 2002. [Positive, common-sense advice about sex, particularly on the subjects of \performance anxiety,“ cultural sex-negativity, and good communication.]

[53] Lawrence, Aaron. The Male Escort’s Handbook: Your Guide to Getting Rich the Hard Way. Late Night Press, 2000. [Insight into the world of men’s sex work.]

[54] Lorelei, Mistress. The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl’s Guide to Female Dominance. Greenery Press, 2000. [A guide to dominant sexual role-playing for women.]

[55] Lorelei, Mistress. A Charm School for Sissy Maids. Greenery Press, 2000. [A guide to role-played erotic training in a \maid“ style.]

[56] Lotney, Karlyn. The Ultimate Guide to Strap-On Sex. Cleis Press, 2000. [A guide to incorporating strap-on dildos into sex play.]

[57] Masters, Peter. Look into My Eyes: How to Use Hypnosis to Bring Out the Best in Your Sex Life. Greenery Press, 2001. [On the consensual incorporation of hypnotism and meditation/focus exercises into sex play with one’s partner.]

[58] McGinley, Robert. NASCA International Directory of Swing Clubs, Publications, and Events. NASCA International, 2000. [A directory of swing clubs, also available at See also

[59] Meretrix, Magdalene. Turning Pro: A Guide to Sex Work for the Ambitious and the Intrigued. Greenery Press, 2001. [Practical insight into the world of sex work, focusing primarily on women.]

[60] Meretrix, Magdalene and Robert Furtkamp. Logging In: An Ethical Guide to Building and Marketing Your Adult Web Site. Greenery Press, 2002. [Should contain helpful information for exhibitionists who wish to consensually incorporate the internet into their play with other partners. For related perspectives see also 1-2-3 Be a Porn Star by Ana Loria, How to Become a Porn Director by Nick Ryder, and the documentary _lm Shooting Porn by Ronnie Larsen.]

[61] Midori. The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage. Greenery Press, 2001. [A beautifully-illustrated guide to Japanese bondage techniques within the context of BDSM play.]

[62] Miller, Philip and Molly Devon. Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism. Mystic Rose Books, 1995. [A practical and thorough guide to BDSM, well-illustrated  and photographed.]

[63] Moran, Michael. Erotic Tickling. Greenery Press, 2002. [A guide to the incorporation of tickling into sex play, also presumably of interest to tickling fetishists.]

[64] Morin, Jack. Anal Pleasure and Health: A Guide for Men and Women. Down There Press, 1998. [A guide to the incorporation of anal play into sex play, well-written and thorough.]

[65] Morin, Jack. The Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Sexual Passion and Ful_llment. Harper Perennial, 1996. [A guide to the discovery of one’s own sexual preferences, through focusing on and learning from peak sexual experiences rather than adverse sexual experiences.]

[66] Moser, Charles. Health Care Without Shame. Greenery Press, 1999. [A guide for health care clients from alternative sexuality communities (particularly the BDSM community). Dr. Moser has published extensively on the subject of BDSM in medical and mental health journals, addressing both clinical and research perspectives: see  for his full CV. See also the Kink-Aware Professionals list at  and a similar listing at   ]

[67] Moser, Charles and J. J. Madeson. Bound to Be Free: The SM Experience. Continuum Publications Group, 1998. [This book summarizes current medical and psychological understanding/research on the subject of BDSM play. Other books which address BDSM from a more academic, theoretical, and/or psychoanalytic perspective include The Bonds of Love by Jessica Benjamin, S&M: Studies in Dominance and Submission edited by Thomas Weinberg, Pain and Passion: A Psychoanalyst Explores the World of S&M by Robert Stoller, Di_erent Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by Brame and Brame and Jacobs, A Defense of Masochism by Anita Phillips, and Erotic Power: An Exploration
of Dominance and Submission by Gini Graham Scott. See also and ]

[68] Moser, Charles and Janet W. Hardy. Sex Disasters and How to Survive Them. Greenery Press, 2002. [Good examples of practical solutions to awkward sexual moments.]

[69] Munson, Marcia and Judith Stelboum. The Lesbian Polyamory Reader: Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Casual Sex. Harrington Park Press, 1999. [Readings on the subjects of polyamory and open relationships from a lesbian perspective.]

[70] Newman, Felice. The Whole Lesbian Sex Book: A Passionate Guide to All of Us. Cleis Press, 1999. [A general guide to sexuality for women who have sex with women.]

[71] Nycum, Benjie. The XY Survival Guide: Everything You Need to Know About Being Young and Gay. XY Publishing, 2000. [A hip guide to life as a young gay man.]

[72] Ochs, Robyn (ed.) Bisexual Resource Guide (4th ed.) Bisexual Resource Center, 2001. [A guide to resources of interest to the bisexual community.]

[73] Panati, Charles. Sexy Origins and Intimate Things: The Rites and Rituals of Straights, Gays, Bi’s, Drags, Trans, Virgins, and Others. Penguin USA, 1998. [An interesting historical perspective on the origins of many di_erent parts of today’s sex-positive culture.]

[74] Public Health Seattle and King County HIV/AIDS Program. As Safe As You Wanna Be. Pamphlet 1/01. [An outstanding handout on the subject of safer-sex, available in tri-fold brochure form, see http: // for information on obtaining additional copies. See also http:// for a list of other resources in the Seattle area relevant to sexuality, as well as links to select national and international conferences of relevance to sexology or sex-positive culture.]

[75] Queen, Carol. Exhibitionism for the Shy: Show O_, Dress Up, and Talk Hot. Down There Press, 1995. [An excellent guide to overcoming body-image issues and erotic shyness.]

[76] Queen, Carol. Real Live Nude Girl: Chronicles of Sex-Positive Culture (2nd ed.) Cleis Press, 2003. [A fascinating series of essays on a variety of topics relevant to today’s emerging sex-positive culture | if you enjoy this book then you might also enjoy a similar book by Tristan Taormino called True Lust: Adventures in Sex, Porn, and Perversion.]

[77] Rogers, Ben R. and Joel Perry. Going Down: The Instinct Guide to Oral Sex. Alyson Publications, 2002. [A guide to performing oral sex on men].

[78] Schwartz, Pepper. The Great Sex Weekend: A 48-Hour Guide to Rekindling Sparks for Bold, Busy, or Bored Lovers. Perigee, 2000. [A guide for couples on how to plan a special weekend with each other.]

[79] Semans, Anne and Cathy Winks. The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex (3rd ed). Cleis Press, 2002. [A fantastic general guide to sexuality, which covers sex toys particularly well. See also http://www. and for current guidance on the subject of sex toys.]

[80] Signorile, Michelangelo. Outing Yourself: How to Come Out as Lesbian or Gay to Your Family, Friends, and Coworkers. Fireside, 1996. [On coming out as gay, lesbian, or bisexual.]

[81] Solot, Dorian and Marshall Miller. Unmarried to Each Other: The Essential Guide to Living Together as an Unmarried Couple. Marlowe and Co., 2002. [If you read this book, you should also read the Nolo Press book Living Together: A Legal Guide for Unmarried Couples (2001).]

[82] Strossen, Nadine. Defending Pornography: Free Speech, Sex, and the Fight for Women’s Rights. New York University Press, 2000. [A summary of some of the key arguments for and against the right to own and acquire pornography. For more information see  and ]

[83] Stuart, Kim E. The Uninvited Dilemma: A Question of Gender. Metamorphous Press, 1991. [Insightful discussions of transgender.]

[84] Sycamore, Matt B. (ed.) Tricks and Treats: Sex Workers Write about Their Clients. Haworth, 2000. [Insight into the daily life of modern sex workers, practical rather than overtly theoretical]

[85] Taormino, Tristan. Pucker Up: A Hands-On Guide to Ecstatic Sex. Regan Books, 2001. [A general guide to sexuality, which covers female ejaculation and the G-spot particularly well.]

[86] Taormino, Tristan. The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. Cleis Press, 1997. [A guide to incorporating anal play into sex play, geared towards women.]

[87] Thompson, Mark (ed.) Leatherfolk. Alyson Publications, 2001. [Interviews and essays from and by a variety of people who have been inuential in the formation of today’s BDSM/leather community. See also SM Classics, edited by Susan Wright. For more information on the subject of leadership and community-building within sex-positive culture, see  and http: //]

[88] Thornton, Yvonne. Woman to Woman: A Leading Gynecologist Tells You All You Need to Know about Your Body and Your Health. Penguin USA, 1998. [A guide to sexual and reproductive health for women | there are many books on this subject, of which this is only one. See also http://www.]

[89] Trevor, Jacques. Alternate Sources. Alternate Sources, 1997. [This book, at the time of its publication, served as a comprehensive international resource guide for a variety of alternative sexuality communities. As it stands this 1997 edition is a bit dated, and most people will have better luck looking for local community resources online. A guide at provides instructions in how to _nd local sex-positive community resources via the internet (e.g. BDSM, swing, bathhouses and men’s sex clubs, polyamory, nudist/naturist, GLBT, etc.) and provides links to select national and
international conferences.]

[90] Webb, Michael. The Romantic’s Guide: Hundreds of Tips for a Lifetime of Love. Hyperion, 2000. [A variety of suggestions for people (particularly men) who would like to become more romantic.]

[91] Wiseman, Jay. Jay Wiseman’s Erotic Bondage Handbook. Greenery Press, 2000. [An excellent and thorough guide to incorporating rope bondage into consensual BDSM play.]

[92] Wiseman, Jay. SM 101: A Realistic Introduction. Greenery Press, 1998. [A general introduction to BDSM play, which falls towards the \cautious“ end of the spectrum. See also  and  for information on two organizations which sponsor national conferences of relevance to the BDSM community, both of which include plenty of educational workshops.]

[93] Wolfe, Daniel. Men Like Us: The GMHC Complete Guide to Gay Men’s Sexual, Physical, and Emotional Well-Being. Ballantine Books, 2000. [A guide to sexual health for gay and bi men.]

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